The Equality Challenge

On paper, having a husband who does half the housework, changes half the diapers, cooks half the meals, and schedules half the pediatrician appointments (without any reminding) sounds like heaven to most women. In theory, having a wife who brings in half the money and never, ever nags or directs him at home sounds like the perfect dream to most men.

The Political and the Personal

The '08 Presidential candidates are beginning to discuss the family-friendly aspects of their platforms. Hillary Clinton, for one, has voiced her support of paid parental leave and expanded FMLA benefits, as well as grants for workplace flexibility leaders and an end to job discrimination for parents.

Equal Opportunity

We are very excited about the birth of FamiliesRising.org! But before we tell you exactly why, we’d like to introduce ourselves. We are representatives of a subset of involved dads and moms who practice equally shared parenting. This means that both parents, in an intact family, share equally in breadwinning, housework, childraising and recreation time. No one parent rules the home; no one parent has the primary career. Both parents have deep intimate relationships with their children, and both have equal say in tending their childhoods. And both parents place a high value on time with each other, time to pursue hobbies, time to do what matters most to each individual. Right now, we are working to raise awareness of this lifestyle – its joys and challenges – through our website and blog at www.equallysharedparenting.com. We are looking forward to doing so through FamiliesRising.org as well.

A Paper Gown & Macaroni On Father's Day?

I will fly from California to Tennessee this weekend to eat Father's Day dinner with my Dad. But I don't expect the meal to be very satisfying.

For one thing, we will be eating whatever we eat in a hospital room. My father has emphysema and stage 3 lung cancer. He was responding well to chemo, but then he developed pneumonia. He has been hospitalized for more than a month, with his health worsening rather than improving. In the hospital, he developed a major blockage in his intestine; now he is battling this digestive tract malady, on top of everything else.

To Future Dads

My younger daughter is graduating high school, and my older daughter just graduated from Penn State, so this fathers’ day is a good time to reflect on past successes… and failures. So here’s some advice for young men contemplating fatherhood today:

Marry well. Find someone you can talk to about almost anything; you’re going to spend a lot of time talking after children arrive... And find someone who isn’t planning to stay at home for 20 years raising kids. Sure, there are great parents who pull off the breadmaker/homemaker stuff, and I know and admire them. But most involved dads have partners who have a job or a career; it gives us more time with the kids, and more say in decisions about the kds.

Lifting All Boats

With Father’s Day just around the corner, I’m excited to see the new FamiliesRising Web site get started. While co-producing THE MOTHERHOOD MANIFESTO film, my only disappointment was the number of men I met who didn’t see how these issues applied to them. As the father of a 13 year old, I know just how important it will be to entire American families to win the kinds of things that MomsRising has been working so hard for.

How much does it cost you to participate?

I'm a busy guy. I work full time, have kids to raise, dogs to train, a house to maintain, vehicles to keep going, and a dozen hobbies from my younger days that get dusted off a couple of times a year. My wife and I do our best to help each other keep our household running and still strive to periodically enjoy each other's company in a context beyond toiling side-by-side on a never ending task list. This isn't a complaint - I like keeping busy - rather it's an explanation as to why I usually shy away from taking on additional commitments.

Homeland Economics 101

Since my wife Genevieve and I had twins, Sam and Hazel, on Election Day of 2004 I’ve become increasingly aware of just how out of whack our nations priorities have become. There seems to be no end in sight to the resources we will squander in Iraq. While here in the American Homeland we can’t seem to get it together to provide basic Healthcare for every child. America’s mothers are working two jobs (beyond the full time role of caregiver inside the home) just to make ends meet.

The Whole Will Be Greater Than the Sum of its Parts

“Grampsy, you know, you’re not like a normal grandfather,” seven year-old Jesse exclaimed during my most recent visit with her and her sister in a New York suburb. Although I’m now back at home in the greater DC area, I’m still smiling as I think about her comment, made while we were jumping together on the backyard trampoline. As we bounced I asked her what she meant by “normal.” “Well, Grampsy,” she said, “Normal grandfathers don’t go on trampolines with their grandchildren.” I responded, “Maybe we need to rethink what being a ‘normal grandfather’ means.” This led to a brief and interesting discussion, intermittently punctuated by my inability to picture my own grandfather without a tie around his neck. He died in 1962, a time when the role of grandfather was a lot more formal.